Actor Arrested for Not Being Famous Anymore


Actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested on July 3rd, 2018 for public intoxication after people in lower Manhattan reportedly spotted him acting erratically ( what's new). 

Shia's delusions are back and they're better than ever.  The 29 year former Disney child star was charged for disturbing traffic by walking on the middle of the street yelling "I'm not an actor" to oncoming traffic around 4' o'clock this afternoon.  As pedestrians were confused at what was happening, they began circling around. That’s when things took a turn for the odder. The former actor started rapping, demanding anyone wanted to rap battle.  A witness overheard him shout "who wants this "hot fire?”  Apparently one young man did. The newcomer stepped into the circle, and there, between the intersection of Houston and Bowery, a rap battle began.

In LaBeouf's opening verse, he rapped about a time when he was living large, hustling on Wall Street before getting out of the game in '08. This left the crowd roaring.  Perhaps impressed by the actor’s ability to rap, the audience didn’t seem to catch that the actor’s verse had similarities to the 2010 Oliver Stone movie, “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. In the movie, he plays an investment banker who gets a change of heart that leads him to quit before the ‘08 crash.

For his next verse, LaBeouf rapped about his gang association in 2007.  He boasted about his almost fatal experience from a rival gang, called the Decepticons (rival gang in the Transformers movie franchise, which he starred in). It was at this point, the crowd began to sense something fishy was going on.  LaBeouf, who is no stranger for stealing other people's screenplays, writings, and even apologies - lost his audience. The crowd shouted to keep it real.

The disgraced star fell onto his knees and cried hysterically that he lost what real is. Apparently, all the method acting, he is famous for using, had backfired. A once promising young star had finally hit rock bottom. The police arrived and arrested the actor for public intoxication.  When being carried away, the actor couldn't help but have one last line and screamed, the famous last words for all troubled celebrities, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM" But of the best line of the night came from the officer who responded with a simple "NO".